As I stand before the cupboard, staring at the empty shelf where glasses should be, I know what’s coming. I reach down and open the dishwasher; it’s finished and every dish is clean. The question is now clear: “Am I man enough to empty the dishwasher?!”
If you’re married, who do you think should do the dishes?
If you claim to be the head of your household, then the dishes are your responsibility; the vacuuming is your responsibility; the budget, taking out the trash, fixing the radiator, where you live, what you do, all the ironing and cooking dinner. . . all of this is your responsibility. They are your responsibility because you are the leader of the home.
That does not mean that we should plan on barking orders at our wives. We should aspire to lead and serve our wives in a way that causes them to flourish in the gifts the Lord has given them. That could well look like us men doing the dishes, or asking her to wash while I wipe and put away. But it does mean, fundamentally, that I must take responsibility. To lead means to take responsibility over what appears to be small and mundane; to serve means to consider the needs of others and act with those needs in mind.
Consider Ephesians 5 on serving your wife. Galatians 3 for fruits of the Spirit. 1 Corinthians 13 on what love looks like. And 1 Timothy 3 on what a Christian leader looks like. Considering the whole counsel of scripture will help you initiate leading, protecting, and providing with a servant leader heart not a king ruler attitude.
~ Lightly edited excerpts form Mathew Freeman’s article from 9marks.org – Complementarianism and the Single Man [for application to the married man]